Eden came to us wanting to target CEOs and Office Managers for their cleaning services. No problem, we said. First, we helped them develop a customer list. Then, we made a mistake: we didn’t provide them with clear design guidance. Let’s take a look at our two revisions on their first campaign and how we added some Scout special sauce to help Eden personalize their postcards.

Version 1 – "Why choose Eden?"

Here’s Version 1.

Actually, it's pretty good. It's simple, there's contact information, social proof, and it has some customization. But, we still found some room for improvement on the design (because there’s always room to improve). People should know what your business does in 2 seconds, so let’s improvethe headline message.It was then that we realized that we'd made a second mistake: we never asked Eden what mattered most to their customers. Turns out, more than anything, it was trust.So we made the headline match,we beefed up the social proof, and this time we focused on trust. We’ll dig into V2’s postcard below.

Version 1 – "What should I do right now?"

We loved Eden’s map idea, and it’s the primary element in v1 that we carried on to their second design. We wanted to change some other things, though, and focus on making the backside about the offer. So here’s what we changed:

1. We decided to only talk about office cleaning and not Eden's other services.
2. We highlighted the offer so it smacks you in the face... "FREE OFFICE CLEANING!!!!"
3. We added a means to track the offer. In the first version, there was no promo code, no clear attribution to the postcards or a particular customer, and some folks may have called to redeem or passed it on to their friends.
4. We added an expiration date. The version-one postcard seems to imply that this offer might be good forever. With no urgency, the potential customer may get around to redeeming it next week...or never.

This new design had all of the elements of a successful campaign; we just needed to shuffle this card around a bit. Let's get into the details of what we actually sent for their first campaign.

Version 2 Details – "Five Star Office Cleaning"

Again, we wanted to know what was really important to Eden's customers. Trust, they said. Eden's clients want to know that they'll bring in a cleaner who is professional, well respected, and who will do a thorough job. So, that’s what we focused on for the front of their card.We worked with their amazing designer Elisha to highlight their message. The question we asked ourselves was, if a potential client saw the card below for just a few seconds, what would they glean from it? The answer? They'd knowwhat Eden does, and that they are valued by other well-known businesses in the community.

The OfferNow that the recipient knows that Eden is a leader in office cleaning, it’s important to provide an offer so that they'll act to make use of their services. Historically, Eden’s customers haven't really minded paying for an individual cleaning, but we decided that it was best to provide an offer anyway as a means to get them to sign up and inject urgency into the process. An offer code conveys the message that this isn't just an ad, but more like a gift card, with all its benefits (and also its expiration date). We also made the offer and offer code bold so that in two seconds you know it’s a promotion.The offer code is one of two special levels of customization that we created for Eden on this side of the card. Let's get into the details of both.First, we made the code the first four letters of the company name, the expiration month, and the mailer number. This gives us a few advantages:

1. We know if the company we sent it to passed their code on to someone else.
2. It’s very obvious which month we expect them to redeem.
3. The number 1 allows us to track which mailer converts in our two-part series.

Second, the map shows the address where we reached this potential customer and then all of Eden's customers in their area (FYI, this mock-up doesn't show the other customer addresses).Even if the nearest Eden client is miles away, our ingenious engineer Zach created a map to zoom such that at least one other customer (but usually more) is shown. Below is an example of that map; we think it's pretty incredible.

In the end, Eden decided on a three-series postcard, and is now putting the finishing touches on two more 6x11 designs that we’re pretty excited to send: it’s one of the best postcard designs we’ve seen.Stay tuned, and we’ll share it with you.Oh, and if you want to get in contact with Eden for an office cleaning or other on-call services, send me a note, and I’ll make an introduction to their CEO for you.Happy Sending,Jordan