Free Trial Pass

Description

We don't have access to the back of this campaign, so instead we are analyzing the front side of an A/B test. This card was probably targeted to women and the other was for men. We can assume that from the imagery.

This promotion, like most, could have been very simple but instead they used a lot of space to convey weak points. We don't know how long the free trial pass is for or how long that offer lasts. We don't know what type of training sessions are available, which could be a big differentiator for a gym (instead we get to know they do have equipment and cardio weight machines). The call to action is just a link. You have to give the reader exact steps on what to do next: use this link/QR code to see your closet gym and schedule a class today.

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Copywriting

The design isn't great and the copy is worse. The offer isn't clear at all. How long is a free trial pass? 30 days? 1 day? That's relevant information for the reader. The line below that is supposed to be a hook with the offer but it also is unclear and weak. Do you only get ONE training session with a membership? The third line is supposed to be the call to action. Including a link or number with no context is never a smart move. There is no urgency being created and no direction given.

A headline of "{name}, activate your free 7 day trial pass at {insert closest location to them} before {expiration date} to get an additional free personal training class!". Then instead of listing classes, equipment, cardio, and weight machines (of course a gym has these), list options for the personal training class: kickboxing, cycling, yoga, etc.

Design

This is typical for a gym promotion. Highly contrasting colors, lots of highlights, use of all caps copy, and rugged imagery. It's not great because it's overcomplicated when it doesn't need to be. All that needs to be there is a strong offer, clear call to action, clean imagery, and some personalization if you are going for an A grading.

Reader's eyes are definitely drawn to the three white hightighted sections. They have the right idea of including the offer ("FREE TRIAL PASS") and call to action ("LIVEFITGYM.COM"), but neither of those are that strong– more on that in the copywriting section and offer.

The went with a listing format on the bottom which is a lot better than a paragraph to explain services/products. Not everything on that list needs to be there though.

The logo is oversized, but because it's not highlighted it actually blends in the the picture. Maybe too well (it's hard to read the black copy).

Offer

"Free trail pass" with no context doesn't do it for us. There's no urgency. No clarity on how long the trial pass lasts (1 day vs 7).

Key Takeaways
  • Don't stop after having an offer and call to action. Make sure they are clear! Including an expiration date and next steps is a start.
  • Don't add copy for the sake of filling space. Did they really need to include that their gym has classes, equipment, and cardio weight machines? Use that space to differentiate yourself from other gyms.
Description

Neither of these tests were great. The copy is the biggest missed opportunity on this side. There is no offer or call action. That's the baseline to having a good postcard.

Copywriting

Along with different imagery, they tested different copy. This type of headline is based on social selling. Trends/popularity sells. If you want to go that route, make sure you actually include some proo/contextf: "Rated #1 Gym in San Francisco out of gyms" or "Your neighbors give us a 5/5 review {insert testimonial}".

Listing the locations instead of things like "cardio weight equipment" is definitely an improvement. What would be better is to have that as variable text and only include their two closest locations to the home: "Hayes Valley - 2.3 miles away".

Design

This is typical for a gym promotion. Highly contrasting colors, lots of highlights, use of all caps copy, and rugged imagery. It's not great because it's overcomplicated when it doesn't need to be. All that needs to be there is a strong offer, clear call to action, clean imagery, and some personalization if you are going for an A grading.

Reader's eyes are definitely drawn to the three white hightighted sections. They have the right idea of including the offer ("FREE TRIAL PASS") and call to action ("LIVEFITGYM.COM"), but neither of those are that strong– more on that in the copywriting section and offer.

The went with a listing format on the bottom which is a lot better than a paragraph to explain services/products. Not everything on that list needs to be there though.

The logo is oversized, but because it's not highlighted it actually blends in the the picture. Maybe too well (it's hard to read the black copy).

Offer

NA

Key Takeaways
  • Don't stop after having an offer and call to action. Make sure they are clear! Including an expiration date and next steps is a start.
  • Don't add copy for the sake of filling space. Did they really need to include that their gym has classes, equipment, and cardio weight machines? Use that space to differentiate yourself from other gyms.
Copywriting:
C-
Design:
C
Offer:
C
Final Grade:
C
Copywriting:
C
Design:
C
Offer:
NA
Final Grade:
C
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