Give the Gift of Smoother Travel.

Description

A common mistake we see is over-designing. Reader's care more about clarity, conciseness, and a strong offer than a fancy design. There is so much going on here that it's hard to focus on the product and find the offer.

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Copywriting

We aren't big fans of the headline, "Give the gift of smoother travel". If they wanted to take the angle of reliving the janky luggage problem we all go through at some point they should have just said so: "Never deal with a janky luggage again. Travel smooth with AWAY."

Design

All the random objects in the imagery pull attention away from the product and copy. The "road closed" sign is where our eyes are drawn to first but that really has nothing to do with the product or offering.

While size of their logo in the bottom right is perfect (not too big but noticable), the offer in the bottom left should be a lot bigger. It looks like the fine print which no one ever pays attention to.

Offer

The offer needs to be so much bigger. That is the hook that drives people to take action. If they can't see it, the chances of them taking the next step drop significantly.

Key Takeaways
  • The offer is what drives people to act. Make sure they can't miss it.
  • Imagery should support the offer by invoking emotions and/or directing attention to the product. What it shouldn't do is pull the reader's focus away from the offer/product.
Description

This design may be worse than the front. The black background and white text makes it hard to highlight important lines like the offer, expiration date, call to action. It also makes it hard to read. A white background and black font would have been better.

The headline and paragraph below don't really add any value. There isn't any major differentiating points or lines to get the reader excited.

We do like the four value-adding points.

Copywriting

This headline is worse than the front. It would be better to say, "The luggage that will last a lifetime" or "Make travel seamless with Away luggage".

The paragraph below the headline doesn't really do much to differentiate their brand. Every luggage brand will say something along the same lines.

The four value points are written well, but again the white copy on black background isn't easy to read.

Design

All the random objects in the imagery pull attention away from the product and copy. The "road closed" sign is where our eyes are drawn to first but that really has nothing to do with the product or offering.

While size of their logo in the bottom right is perfect (not too big but noticable), the offer in the bottom left should be a lot bigger. It looks like the fine print which no one ever pays attention to.

Offer

The offer is bolded here but still hard to find because of the black background/white copy design. This is too easy to miss. They also didn't add CLEAR next steps. There should be a number, social media, QR code, etc.

What they did do better on this side than the front was add an expiration date.

Key Takeaways
  • The offer is what drives people to act. Make sure they can't miss it.
  • Imagery should support the offer by invoking emotions and/or directing attention to the product. What it shouldn't do is pull the reader's focus away from the offer/product.
Copywriting:
C-
Design:
C-
Offer:
C-
Final Grade:
C-
Copywriting:
D+
Design:
D+
Offer:
C-
Final Grade:
C-
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